The Zahir - Paulo Coehlo

"All you have to do is pay attention; lessons always arrive when you are ready, and if you can read the signs, you will learn everything you need to know in order to take the next step."

"We humans have two great problems: the first is knowing when to begin, the second is knowing when to stop."

"As soon as people decide to confront a problem, they realise that they are far more capable than they thought they were."

"No one is alone in their troubles; there is always someone else thinking, rejoicing or suffering in the same way, and that gives us the strength to confront the challenge before us."

"In the Mongolian creation myth, doe and the wild dog come together. Two beings with very different natures: In the wild, the dog would normally kill the deer for food. In the Mongolian myth, they both understand that they each need the qualities of the other if they are to survive in a hostile world and that they should, therefore, join forces.
To do this, they must first learn to love. And in order to love, they must cease to be who they are, otherwise they will never be able to live together. With the passing of time, the wild dog comes to accept that his instinct, always focused on the struggle to survive, now serves a greater purpose: finding someone with whom he can rebuild the world."

"If I behave in the way people expect me to behave, I will become their slave. It requires enormous sel-fcontrol not to succumb, because our natural tendency is to please, even if the person to be pleased is us. If I do that, I will lose everything you have achieved so far."

"That's how love got lost. When we started laying down rules for which love should or shouldn't appear."

"What's wrong is the way in which we show our love now. If we were to accept that this creates problems, we could live those problems and be happy. It would be a constant battle, but it would at least keep us active, alive and cheerful, with many universes to conquer; the trouble is we're heading towards a point where things are becoming too comfortable, where love stops creating problems and confrontations and becomes instead merely a solution."

"It is always important to know when something has reached it end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn't matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over. Slowly, I began to realise that I could not go back and force things to be as they once were: those two years, which up until then had seemed an endless inferno, were now beginning to show me their true meaning."

"All men and all women are connected by an energy which many people call ove, but which is, in fact, the raw material from which the universe was built. This energy cannot be manipulated, it leads us gently forwards, it contains all we have to learn in this life. If we try to make it go in the direction we want, we end up desperate, frustrated, disillusioned, because that energy is free and wild.
We could spend the rest of our life saying that we love such a person or thing, when the truth is that we are merely suffering because, instead of accepting love's strength, we are trying to diminish it so that it fits the world to which we imagine we live."

"If I were to see her again, my face needed to be as clean as hers. Before I could find her, I must first find myself."

"I came to realise that I was always looking for myself in the women I loved. I looked at their lovely, clean faces and saw myself reflected in them. They, on the other hand, looked at me and saw the dirt on my face and, however intelligent or self-confident they were, they ended up seeing themselves reflected in me and thinking that they were worse than they were."

"I am free, but as I'm sure you'll understand, therein lies the secret; there are always some stories that are "interrupted", and there are always some stories that remain nearest to the surface and so still occupy the present; only when we close that story or chapter can we begin the next one."

"That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don't expect to get anything back, don't expect recognition for your efforts, don't expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability, or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are."

"What are interrupted stores?
She reached a point where she could go no further in the process of emptying herself of unhappiness and allowing joy to flow in. Why? Because her story, like that of millions of other people, is bound up with the energy of love. It can't evolve on its own: she must either stop loving or wait until her beloved comes to her."

"In failed marriages, when one person stops walking, the other is forced to do the same. And while he or she is waiting , other lovers appear, or there.... It would be much easier to talk openly about things, to insist, to yell: "Let's move on, we're dying of tedium, anxiety, fear."

"She has a choice between stopping loving you or making you come to her."

"The acomodador or giving up point: there is always an event in our lives that is responsible for us failing to progress: a trauma, a particularly bitter defeat, a disappointment in love, even a victory that we did not quite understand, can make cowards of us and prevent us from moving on. As part of the process of increasing his hidden powers, the shaman must first free himself from the giving up point and, to do so, he must review his whole life and find out where it occurred."

"If you are a nobody, if you work has no impact, then it deserves to be praised. If however, you climb out of that state of mediocrity and are a success, then you're defying the law and deserve to be punished."

"The first thing you feel, when you set out on a journey like this, is that you'll never arrive. Then you feel insecure, abandoned and spend all your time thinking about giving up. But if you can last a week, then you'll make it to the end."

"He will have to forget for ever his history of pain of suffering, and accept that he is a new person who has just been reborn and that, from now on, he will be reborn every day. If he doesn't do that, and if they ever do live together again, he will expect her to pay him back for all the pain she once caused him."

"You will continue to breathe, you will know a small part of me, but I am not a part, I am Everything, and you will never know that."

"I realised that I had set off on a path of no return and that when one does that, one can only go forward."

The last chapter

I hope.

Keep wondering if his decision would, or not, make a difference?

But I do realise, that I have morphed in the last month. and so has he. I don't recognise him anymore from the pictures. he no longer carries the familiar smiling face that I love. He's just a stranger, to me.

A sense of loss would arise anyhow.

I'm happy, and i party my life away. That's good enough. I have friends who love me for who I am. Though I thought I could have a balance, and love you as long as I can.

The fifth mountain

Even though I'm not a follower of the Lord, this book has brought me many inspirations and solace.

Here are some quotes that I found really applicable in life:

"When a man journeys toward his destiny, often he is obliged to change paths. At other times, the forces around him are too powerful and he is compelled to lay aside his courage and yield. But no one can lose sight of what he desires. Even if there are moments when he believes the world and the others are stronger. The secret is this: do not surrender."

"There are moments when tribulations occur in our lives, and we cannot avoid them. But they are there for some reason." "That is a question we cannot answer before, or even during, the trials. Only when we have overcome them do we understand why they were there."

"Every man hath the right to doubt his task, and to forsake it from time to time; but what he must not do is forget it. Whoever doubteth not himself is unworthy - for in his unquestioning belief in his ability, he commiteth the sin of pride. Blessed are they who go through moments of indecision."

"This was freedom: to feel what the heart desired, with no thought to the opinion of the rest."

"She was free, for love liberates."

"Love is dangerous." he said.
"Very," replied the angel. "And so?"

"Because a man must choose. Therin lieth his strength: the power of his decisions."

"Even more difficult is defining a path for oneself."

"Thou knowest not whereof thou speakest. There is no tragedy, only the unavoidable. Everything hath its reason for being: thou needest only distinguish what is temporary for what is lasting."

"What is temporary?" "The unavoidable"
"And what is lasting?" "The lessons of the unavoidable"

"The meaning of my life was whatever I wanted it to be."

"Fear reaches only to the point where the unavoidable begins; from there on, it loses it meaning. And all we have left is the hope that we are making the right decision."

"It's not a question of hope in the future. It's a question of re-creating your own past."

"If you have a past that dissatisfies you, forget it now. Imagine a new story of your life, and believe in it. Concentrate only on those moments in which you achieved what you desired, and this strength will help you to accomplish what you want."

"Everything that could have happened but did not is carried away with the wind and leaves no trace. Life is made of our attitudes. And there are certain things that the gods oblige us to live through. Their reason for this does not matter, and there is no action we can take to make them pass us by."

"The only soultion was to forget a past of uncertainty and create a new history for oneself."

"Cowards never allow their hearts to blaze with this fire; all they desire is for the changed situation to quickly return to what it was before, so they can go on living their lives and thinking in their customary way. The brave, however, set afire that which was old and, even at the cost of great internal suffering, abandon everything, including God, and continue onward."

"The brave are always stubborn"

"Tragedies do happen.We can discover the reason, blame others, imagine how different out lives would be had they not occurred. But none of that is important: they did occur, and so be it. From there onward we must put aside the fear that they awoke in us and begin to rebuild."

Everything, happens for a reason.

Italy!

http://www.tripadvisor.com/TCDestinations-cCulture-g1

3 of the top 10 cultural places in the world 2010 :D

I wanna visit Venice, Florence and Rome again! :D If you would want to, with me?

And food and wine! 1 more city in Italy :D

http://www.tripadvisor.com/TCDestinations-cFoodWine-g1

Time after time

Love. can't just disappear into thin air.

Everyday. my mind fills with rehearsals, speculations and self-talking.

It hurts.

The longer you take to decide, the more I waver, the more I wish that we can go back to the past.

it hurts. it really hurts.

so please. just make a decision and keep to it. and if you don't want me anymore, then just seal all ties with me. it hurts so much. i want to stab myself to death.

I want to rip out all my memories of our past. I want to dig out my heart and just replace it with a pacemaker.

I'm so tired.. I try so hard to fill up every single moment of my life. but i just can't stop thinking about you. of us. of what may come. Please. can we stop this?

One month.

4th. used to be a happy day every month.

its been one month..

and you've cooked. after so long.

its time to let go. its time to say goodbye.

its time to forget the past. its time to not ask why.

May 4th 2010. Just one month ago, we celebrated an anniversary. from now on, the day will be forgotten.

Last words

Relationships, lose their spark once in a while; couples get sick of each other and feel bored.

That's what I thought, stress and fatigue, that led to our end. And a whole lot of faults due to myself..

So I wanted, just to give us one more shot. Even if we don't work out, then we can still be friends.

I really don't understand, what had happened in a day, that made you change your mind so abruptly.

All our hopes and dreams - eating together, trying new food, exploring new places, playing games, visiting art museums, cycling, strolling, cooking, reading, enjoying cafes.

Even if we can't be lovers, can't we enjoy these things, or some of them, as friends?

I really don't know what i did to make you so upset that you can't face me as a friend anymore. What did i do?

You just can't please everyone.. all we can do in life is to be true to ourselves, and that we didn't harm the ones who are our friends, or our loved ones. Everyone will have bad things to say, no matter what you do.

And if you just give up each time it is tiring, hurtful, you might just let go of something that is wonderful. And i didn't want to do that.

But if you are so resistant, all you wanna do is run, i can't catch up with you, you'll hate me for tying you.

All i ask, is for you to let the past go, and let's see what we can still enjoy together. that's all.